It Came From Netflix: Emperor of the North

Perhaps the greatest benefit Netflix offers is access to a wider variety of film history than any single video store could ever offer. They've got Criterion films, Kino collections, guitar instructional DVDs, BBC television shows, all of the overpriced Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes...the mind boggles. So I think this blog entry may birth a series on films that you probably won't find anywhere else but on Netflix.

Emperor of the North (1973)

The greatest hobo-action film of all time. Set in the Depression, on the same stretch of Oregon tracks later used for Stand By Me, this gem of a film comes pedigreed with three Dirty Dozen alums: director Robert Aldrich, Lee Marvin, and Ernest Borgnine. The project was also developed by Sam Peckinpah before it changed hands. Rather than give you a conventional summary, here is a list of highlights:

• Lee Marvin as a hobo king, "A#1," fending off Keith Carradine with a live chicken.
• Ernest Borgnine as "Shack," a severe conductor who sadistically enjoys clobbering hobos with his collection of small sledgehammers.
• The first line of Keith Carradine's character, named "Cigaret" after Jack London's hobo handle, is "who you calling a fool?" directed at Marvin's A#1, who had said nothing at all.
• A stable of veteran character actors from Westerns, including the bartender from Back to the Future III and the reverend from Blazing Saddles. And if that's not enough: Vic Tayback!
• A glorious 70's country-pop theme song by Marty Robbins, "A Man and a Train" (insightful line in the first verse, "a man's not a train and a train's not a man").
• Hobo poetry that only a man like Lee Marvin can deliver with something resembling gravitas: "You ain't stopping at this hotel, kid. My hotel! The stars at night, I put 'em there. And I know the presidents, all of them. And I go where I damn well please. Even the chairman of the New York Central can't do it better. My road, kid, and I don't give lessons and I don't take partners. Your ass don't ride this train!"
• Lee Marvin making a cop bark like a dog.
• The awesomest river baptism band ever.

It's a film that mixes unintentional comedy with real drama, probably more so than any other film I've seen. The climactic fight scene between offscreen chums Borgnine and Marvin is hard-hitting - when these guys brawl, you feel it enough to disregard the obviously fake blood. They lumber and stumble; no fancy moves, just punches, two by fours, hammers, chains and an axe. They really don't make 'em quite like these guys anymore. There's a certain flavor of badass for which these guys set the bar.